|For those who cant get over
Bill's blow job ...
repeat this mantra at least 10 times daily:
"I would choose a coked-up, dope smoking, alcoholic, inside trading, lying,
born-again because its politically expedient, murderer without a clue,
silver spoon fed corporate party boy MORON over oral sex any day of the
Below from http://www.presidentmoron.com/ one of the best sites on the web
By Jay O'Three
WASHINGTON, DC - 1/29/02 President MORON is set to address a Joint Session
of Congress today to describe the State of the Union. Although he is rumored
to be working with the twenty-fifth draft of the speech, the twenty-fourth
draft was leaked to PresidentMoron.com. Here it is.
Mr. President Pro-Tempore, Mr. Speaker, Senators, Congresspeople, Colluders
in the Supreme Court, distinguished Guests, my bar-hoppin' offspring, and My
Fellow Americans, the State of the Union is strong. In these short twelve
months, we have managed to completely dismantle the form of government our
forefathers took two hundred twenty-six years to build.
After eight years of unbridled prosperity, we managed to drive the economy
into recession in just two short months. After years of fiscal
responsibility, we have raided the treasury, handed out huge payoffs to our
contributors, and squeezed the middle class even further. We are back to
deficit spendin' and we will never be held responsible.
We have gone from the lowest unemployment rate in a generation, to the
Tonight, I'm gonna address Three Great Goals for America. They are winnin'
the 'War on Terra,' protectin' the Fatherland, and conquerin' the current
But first, I would like to highlight just a few of the tremendous
accomplishments of our administration. On the domestic front, we appointed
the governor of the most polluted state as the Administrator of the
Environmental Protection Agency, and she has done her utmost to protect our
corporate contributors from the environment.
We have made the Vice President, who is conspicuously absent here tonight,
completely invisible. After his marvelous work on the task force which
developed our energy policy under the Petrochemical Ownership of Presidency
(POOP), he was spirited away under the guise of security. Of course, this
doesn't make sense, and the real reason is his complete complicity in the
Enron debacle. We must applaud him for this amazin' effort. He found a way
to reward and protect the executives of a failin' company even as it
collapsed takin' out the jobs and life savin's of thousands of workers.
As I mentioned earlier, we slipped into recession in March. Even though I
have maintained that a tax cut would stimulate the economy, and even though
we were able to ram that tax cut through Congress in March, and even though
that tax cut was actually in place, and no economic stimulus came from it, I
order all Americans to ignore these facts and accept the premise that payin'
off the wealthy of this nation may not be the same as economic growth, but
it is really all we wanted anyway.
In the interest of gettin' certain religious contributors a handout, we
developed the White House Office of Religious Expansionism (WHORE). Even
though the director quit in August, that is no reason to think this is
simply a way to pay off the religious right with taxpayer money. This is
also an important step in the dismantlin' of the First Amendment of that
I hoodwinked Californians into spendin' an extra thirty billion dollars on
energy shiftin' huge profits to my friends in Texas. After all, California
is only part of the Union by default. The phony gas price hike also kept
them sufferin'. That will teach them what happens when you vote 'Blue.'
Make no mistake about it, I lied about limitin' Carbon Dioxide emissions,
and I lied about Stem Cells. Tough.
We had a setback when Jim Jeffords committed the greatest act of treason in
history up until that time. For some reason, he could not abide by our
bludgeonin' of our own members.
We had a good ol' time with that Missile Defense thing, the Destruction of
Incomin' Airborne Projectiles of Hostile Rogues Anti-Guided Missile System
(DIAPHRAGM System) back when it took imaginary enemies to justify drainin'
the treasury to pay off defense contractors.
And speakin' of defense, we had a few laughs there as well. Everyone
remembers the first Greeneville episode, where that stupid Japanese fishin'
boat tried to attack us. And, who can forget the Spy Plane or the friendly
fire incident in Kuwait?
In the international arena, we did some great things as well. We gave
millions of dollars to the Taliban in May, we went on the HUBRIS and HUBRIS
II tours of Europe, and went to Canada for the Western Summit.
Then of course everything changed on nine one one. Suddenly, things like
pink backpacks were not the only domestic threats we faced. Since then, we
have been able to get anything we want! If a Congressperson disagrees with
us, ASSCROFT calls him a terrorist. If a foreign nation disagrees with our
policy, RUMMY can invade them. If a union worker wants to strike, we can
stop him. If an American loses his job, we can blame the terrorists, and the
American people are buyin' it hook, line and sinker! My approval ratin' is
even higher than my Dad's and I haven't even done what I said I would do. I
haven't found Usama bin Laden, I haven't found Mullah Mohamed Omar, I
haven't had to answer for the recession, the deficit, the Enron scandal, the
environment, the erosion of Civil Rights, or anything else! I jes' say well,
it's a 'War on Terra' and if you disagree with me, I can accuse you of
givin' aid an' comfort to my enemies.
So, in this spirit of new-found unilateral power, I am proposin' these new
programs to forward the three goals I stated before. As for the 'War on
Terra,' we will now be in a permanent state of war, and I am hereby swearin'
myself in as President for Life. As for the protection of the Fatherland, or
Homeland as some call it, I am orderin' my Director of Fatherland Security,
Tom Ridge to begin a program of youth indoctrination into the MORONic way of
life. In order to be able to distinguish these youths from any other form of
life, they will all be issued new uniforms featurin' brown shirts, jodhpur
pants and black boots. They will display their loyalty by salutin' with a
stiff arm as a symbol of strength. And finally in order to protect my
contributors from the ravages of recession, I am announcin' a new program,
the Republican's Endlessy Increasin' Control of the Homeland, or "REICH" as
it will now be known. This program will authorize our Attorney General John
ASSCROFT to punish anyone who disagrees with this new government. It will
also authorize the wanton distribution of all monies comin' into the Federal
Government to my contributors without regard for fiscal responsibility or
fairness. It will provide for the cancellation of any domestic program which
we deem unhelpful to our cause. This style of government should last at
least until the next millennium!
By the way, I am also considerin' growin' a little square moustache like
Charly Chaplin, and I might start wearin' my hair combed forward over my
We will win the 'War on Terra,' my contributors will be protected from
recession, and the Homeland will be secure! God help America, and Long live
the thousand year REICH!
They that can give up essential liberty for a little safety deserve neither
liberty nor safety," - Benjamin Franklin
KARL ROVE, Bush's long-time political guru and White House advisor:
"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans...
...unless they have too much education and vote Democratic,
which proves there can be too much of a good thing."
"You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget
this." (TYPICAL OF RIGHT WING, MAFIA OR KKK!)
-George W. Bush to writer and editor Al Hunt, 1988 (very presidential !)
Sarya Ingram © 2000,2001